I have some object oriented programming class experience (3 semesters of VB6 back in the day), so consider me a noob. I want to find the single most effective way to get me on my way to learning APEX code (also, tying in with APIs, integrating systems with SFDC, etc.). 

Should I take a Java class?  Should I take C#?  C++?  Java or C# for Dummies?

Salesforce itself suggests taking its tutorials, etc., and I have, but they aren't what I'm looking for. I need something that can explain to me every piece and part of code until it makes sense.  

I have some object oriented programming class experience (3 semesters of VB6 back in the day), so consider me a noob. I want to find the single most effective way to get me on my way to learning APEX code (also, tying in with APIs, integrating systems with SFDC, etc.). 

Should I take a Java class?  Should I take C#?  C++?  Java or C# for Dummies?

Salesforce itself suggests taking its tutorials, etc., and I have, but they aren't what I'm looking for. I need something that can explain to me every piece and part of code until it makes sense.